Realisation
by rubic-cube
Summary: ONE SHOT. Lily finally realsie that she loves Potter...


Hello lovely people who have taken the time to read this fanfic! I'm doing a couple of One-Shot fanfic at the moment so please be nice! This is a re-post any many correctly informed me of my grammar …hope has inproved!

Disclaimer – I do not own Harry Potter… boo hoo!

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For the last two hours on a dark Saturday night, an agitated Lily had taken to pacing the whole area of the Head's common room with so much vigour that the carpet was literally groaning in agony. She was having a nervous breakdown. She finally admitted this to herself several seconds ago and couldn't hide it from her heart.

_How do you explain falling in love with James Potter!_ she screamed silently in her mind. _I DID not say that! I WILL not say that…did I? Agrrr!_

Lily slumped into the plush, red couch sitting near the fireplace and buried her face into her hands, hoping to Merlin someone would clarify at what point had the world gone mad!

The butterfly feeling that Lily had awoke up to this morning, had steadily been growing stronger and stronger…until revealing itself –by indicating it happened every, bloody, time Potter was near her. And it didn't take a very bright witch like Lily to figure out what it meant.

For instance, when red-head girl with green eyes is known for hating said person but still has a daydream about the possibility on how soft and silky his black hair is when she is suppose to be concentrating on the Christmas decoration for the Great Hall. And the worst of it came after, when the Head Boy, who you now consider to have the most gorgeous hair in Hogwarts, is asking you nicely if you are ok.

Lily groaned loudly in agony to the empty room. She had been truly horrible to Potter for over six years and only now in seventh year when she has only one more year to cope with his …his…his behaviour does Lily Evans find it …endearing.

"I wonder if there is something that Madame Pomprey can prescribe to me?" murmured Lily as she removed her hands and stared gloomily into the fire instead or reasoning with her mind. _Just great, now I have to analysis the changes from Potter to James and how I manage still to be nasty to him._

Firstly, she remembered the most painful memory of their interaction which happened two weeks into the new term.

Everyone knew, except Lily, that James had lost his parents in the summer due to Voldemort, and was only given said information after shouting at him for soaking her intentionally to the bone. Although she knew it had been for Black, Lily couldn't really remember her angry rambling words but when Lily said something like "How does your parents survive with you!"

Bingo! The whole Gryffindor tower goes suddenly quiet. Seemingly, the brightest witch, Lily Evans was the first to mention James' dead folks in public. She stood there not understanding what was going on but could see with clarity that James' handsome face had lost all colour and the sparkle disappeared entirely. He tried to smile it off and soon went to 'patrol'.

Coming back to reality, Lily whacked her head off the side of the couch until it hurt considerably, "Stupid, stupid, stupid flower!"

However even after _that_ incident, Lily couldn't bring herself to apologise even knowing that she was the cause.

_How was I suppose to know! I don't read the Daily Prophet unless I'm at Hogwarts!_

But she had promised not to shout to James for a month, even if it meant she was at the mercy of all the Marauders' pranks and therefore to be safe Lily avoided James for a whole fortnight 'til he caught up with her in the kitchens having a late snack. Silently they had made up when Lily shared the final slice of strawberry cheesecake with Potter – it was a sort of apology without having to admit anything was wrong…or that she was wrong. At the end of the night he smiled at her and Lily was sure he had forgiven her since he had a mischievous glint in his chocolate eyes.

That smile - the Potter charm – which works itself on all the female population, teachers included, but Lily. She had prided herself over the fact that it had never once worked on her…that was until last week.

Rubbing her bruised head, Lily glared at the fire as if it was his fault for letting Lily fall for that beaming smile which lights up James' gorgeous face, but most of all it brought the impish look to his eyes which made him the most handsome man Lily ever laid eyes on

Last week was the worst week in the whole entirely of Lily's life. Nothing had been going right for her…the mock exams tests before Christmas were killing her mentally since she was born a perfectionist; Christmas shopping had to be completed in one day at Hogsmeade, a Ravenclaw prefect boy had been following her around like a lost puppy, as well she tutored three first years and to cap it off her sister was getting married in the summer to the most awful man and she wasn't invited because she was deemed a freak.

Exhausted and extremely tired, Lily burst into great sobs of tears when she reached inside the Head quarters, forgetting to check if it was being occupied by the _other_ and tried to blindly lead herself to her room. She fell over the small table in the 'lounge area' and began to curse her way through the alphabet as she waited for the inevitable.

Instead of soaring pain, Lily became suddenly aware of comfortable arms being wrapped round her waist and leading her to the direction of the couch. His hold was making her feel all warm and cuddle inside.

"What the…", Lily opened her eyes in wide surprised to meet hazel eyes. "James?"

"Of course", he said good natured, "who else?"

"Santa Claus?", Lily's attempt at weak joke so that his focus would be shifted from her tears.

"Tut, tut", replied James with his charming smile as he waved a finger at her, "no changing the topic Lily flower. Why are you crying?"

"No reason", she said quickly, trying to stand up but finding herself pulled down by James' strong arms.

"I'm sorry my dear, but there should be no tears at Christmas," stated James simply. "So tell me what's wrong so I can fix it."

"I'm not _your_ dear and who said such a thing?" enquired an exasperated Lily, flinging her arms out dramatically.

"My mother," whispered James, tightening his hold on Lily. His sad smile filtered onto his usually cheerful grin and it broke Lily's heart to see it. Of all her problems and annoyance, she should have remembered his. Her week looked like a bowl of sunshine compared to his whole school term.

Lily, of course, suddenly paled at the thought that yet again she had put her foot in.

_When did I become so clumsy!_

However, before she could apologise, the red head broken down in tears and all Potter did was hug her. She had accidentally fallen asleep in his arms before James carried her to her own bed. She knew this because he had left his signature gift – a white lily on her bedside table.

Lily sighed sadly at the dying embers of the fire.

But the worst part of her love life happened today. Yes, Lily should have read the omens – the cloudy day, the fact she felt ill, losing gloves in the snow, her face whacking straight into a door, getting stuck on the moving staircase. Lily had completely missed the signs and therefore was not prepared to be…jealous.

Yes, jealousy.

Lily bit her lip as she recounted the moment she sat down next to her friends and the Marauders for breakfast.

There was the usual nonsense with Sirius Black retelling the story of when he innocently pushed Filch's cat into the invisible cupboard. Of course, the way that Sirius was telling it made it sound a whole, dangerous adventure and then it happened…Sarah Hedgeworth from Hufflepuff came and sat down beside James and pecked him on the cheek.

Lily blanched at seeing it.

In fact her whole body went cold and rigid at Sarah moved even closer to James. After that Lily couldn't eat and did not trust herself to speak in her normal voice so stayed quiet throughout breakfast. Her friend, Zel, asked if things were alright but Lily merely shrugged her response.

Remus also noticed the odd behaviour and asked if Lily was feeling ok and then under some great boiling anger which spread through her body as Sarah asked James to meet her at lunch, Lily jumped up from the table and told Remus rudely "To mind your business!" Lily rushed out of the Hall with many eyes following her figure including James…all were puzzled by Evan's reaction.

And now here she was hiding out in the Head rooms waiting…for something.

_It's not that I haven't seen Jam…Potter with other girls before. I just thought that…that…that he was serious about me! I mean …why would he want me? I have been a real bitch with him. I hate myself. No! I hate James for being the biggest prat ever…ever!_

Lily again groaned at her predicament. She would have to apologise to Remus tomorrow and say that she had a cold coming on but she couldn't stand another breakfast with James snuggling up to that….that thing.

Again Lily bashed her head off the armrest of the couch, "Stupid, stupid flower."

"I knew that you liked that nickname secretly", said a masculine voice above her.

Lily's head went up like a scared rabbit, hitting the person on the nose and making him topple over onto the ground. Lily ran to the fallen James.

"I'm so sorry James, so sorry, so sorry", Lily was crouching beside James who was clutching his nose delicately, "here let me see if there's any damage."

Gingerly James sat up close to Lily to have his nose inspected and although Lily could tell him at once that is wasn't broken and it was only slight swelling …she didn't.

The closeness of their bodies was setting Lily's on fire, her heart was racing so fast that she could have sworn that James had noticed that she wasn't breathing. His smell was intoxication…earth, chocolate frogs and coconut. Her mind melted.

_Coconut?...Must be his shampoo_, thought Lilt idly as she moved his face this way and that pretending to look at his nose. _He's extremely good looking_.

With James' eyes closed, Lily was allowed to look at his face close up without being disturbed or turning red at being caught staring intently. His face was beautiful, strong jaw and delicious red lips, his nose was a perfect size while his hair naturally hang across his forehead. Hi s skin was soft to touch which surprised Lily because she assumed with the constant shaving that is would be slightly rough. There was no flaw except for a half healed bruise on the side of his cheek from where a bludger had hit him in practise a few nights ago.

Lily knew from girls' gossip that every single witch wanted to have James Potter not only because of him being the most drop dead gorgeous guy in school including womaniser Black but because of his status as a pure blood and his wealth. Potter was very, very rich yet as Lily thought about it, she never saw him flaunting it around.

The spell was broken when she felt James' fingers curling some of her red hair around in his hand. "Potter let go of my hair," she said frostily trying to ignore the butterfly stomach.

"No", the soft reply from his lips.

"What did you just say", enquired Lily in her sweetest tone which was a warning that she was becoming furious. She glared at his closed eyes which suddenly opened to reveal their hazel depth in the dim common room. Lily sat there mesmerised in seeing different specks of colours – green, brown and blue…

"I said no, Lily flower because it's my turn to stare at you", said James in a quiet determined voice.

Lily stuttered, "I wasn't….how…how dare you…what a git you are….why would I want…to …to."

"Because you love me Lily flower, like I have loved you for the last two years."

"Poposterious…ridiculous…you're speaking rubbish…

Lily never finished her ranting about why Potter was wrong, because James seized the moment of having his dream girl sitting so close to him without her wand, to kiss her and prove his point.

And he did.

Lily stopped talking when their lips touched because electricity went through her body and then warmth flooded it. As she imagined him to be, James was an excellent kisser, he brushed her lips with the softest of kisses before taking courage in her lack of withdrawal to deepen it to taste the sweetness inside her mouth.

With Lily's mouth firmly delighted in being at James' disposal, Lily moved her hands towards James' neck and pulled him in closer which made her fall backwards onto the carpet with James on top of her.

As they broke away to get some air, each panting badly, Lily murmured very quietly, "Ok maybe I do like you." Which James heard, beaming at her as he carefully lifted strands of her dishevelled hair away from her pretty face.

"Well, I think we must establish how much", stated James in his serious tone as his body hovered over Lily's, "because I'm betting it's a lot more than just like."

"And how are we going to do that?"

"Well, I could thing of a few things to my flower", James whispered huskily into Lily's ear which made her body involuntary shudder, "but I believe this is the best method" and started to tickle her mercifully until tears were streaming down Lily's face and cried out, "Stop, stop… STOP!"

James sat up and pulled Lily unto his legs and brought his arms around her waist so she couldn't run away. Although slightly annoyed that James knew that Lily would have made a run for it, Lily felt at home in his embrace and pushed her head to his strong shoulder and whispered ever so quietly, "I love you too, James. Have done since the beginning of the year."

"I know", he whispered back.

"Good," said Lily with a giggle, "because I prefer spending free time with my boyfriend doing this." And she kissed him with as much passion that she could mustered which simply blew both of their minds away.

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So what do you think? Please be honest for me folks or I won't improve. Thanks!


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